Lonely is the Nights

In the mood for Green Eggs and Ham.

2012-03-02T06:37:00.000-08:00

My FAVORITE Quotes!

Be who you ARE and say what you feel because those who mind DON'T matter and

those who Matter don't MIND.

Dr. Seuss

"I'm glad we had the times just to laugh together and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone."
--Dr. Seuss

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. SEUSS

A New Picture & Update

2012-02-23T05:15:00.000-08:00

This is Jax a few days ago...Can you guess what he's dressed up as?

Since he's had the transplant he's had quite a few rough days. Infections have set up in his port twice and his cell count has been staying at Zero. The Dr's. were right that up until the time of the transplant was the easy part. Although it wasn't easy for Jaxson having to go through the Radiation and Chemo at the same time. Now we are praying HARD for those cells to start growing to make this transplant a success and for Jaxson to start feeling better. He's been such a trooper. Jax's wasn't fond of wearing a mask every time he stepped out of his room but he did adapt to it. It's a must to help prevent infections that his body can't fight off and he loves to get out of his room and play with the other kids and now he has a new Buddy.

He has to share this dog with the other kids but he's OK with that too :)

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

2012-02-15T18:27:00.000-08:00

This is GREAT & just another reason I don't work out!! :)

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with
you . This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a
regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, I purchased a week of personal training at the
local health club.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football
cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead
and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named
Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and
model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club
encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was
well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting
for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes,
and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines... I enjoyed watching
the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my
workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already
aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to
be a FANTASTIC week!!
________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air
then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill,
but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I
feel GREAT! It ' s a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the
counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a
hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer
or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other
club members.. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the
morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY
annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair
monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity
rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in
shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.
_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Butt hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his
thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being
a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and
hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that jackass Christo more than any human being has ever hated any
other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic,
anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I
could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don' t have any triceps! And
if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or
anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition
teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach
or the choir director?
________________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly
voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made
me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the
strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight
hours of the Weather Channel..
________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and
thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my
husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a
hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would
have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

I Will Always Love You Whitney Houston Video The Bodyguard

2012-02-11T17:54:00.000-08:00

So Sad just heard the news of her death tonight! I've always thought she had such a beautiful voice.

Cat in the Hat for Seniors

2012-02-08T17:03:00.000-08:00

A little something for the Guys :)

2012-02-02T13:43:00.000-08:00

And the Girls :-)

So Far So Good..

2012-01-28T18:15:00.000-08:00

He's so Adorable

This picture was taken today. This is Day 3 of the Chemo and Radiation (twice a day)

But Jax's looks like he's holding up really well . He's got a few more days of the DOUBLE doses of the Cancer

Drugs and then on the 31st is his Bone Marrow Transplant.

Sorry I'm late putting up post~Its been busy for me the last couple of weeks.

Hope Everyone is doing well & I can't wait to catch back up on your blogs.

Someone's gotta girlfriend~

2012-01-16T19:24:00.000-08:00

But I'm not saying Who !

This picture was so Dang Cute~ I had to share it.

Jax's just turned 2 this week.

Looks to me that he is learning the art of listening (or at least pretending to) his girl. :)

Should you pay to pray..

2012-01-08T10:09:00.000-08:00

Let me start off by saying I'm a Strong Believer in God and the Bible!
And I do attend (Not as often as I should) and donate regularly to a small church that my Mother was a member and I grew up attending.

One of my sisters and I have had a long dispute about this question "Should you pay to pray" She attends a big church and donates a portion of her earnings to the church and she also pays for her son and daughter to attend Private school there as well.

She was telling me about one of her Preachers receiving from the Church a brand new Cadillac Escalade with ALL the extras, when I say all I mean GPS system built in, Leather interior, Rear TV's etc..... I'm talking easily a 75 thousand plus plus vehicle. He was very Impressed and thankful for the gift. (Really wouldn't we all be?) Now I'm sure he will have to figure out what to do with the 3 yr old Cadillac he was driving.

Now I'm thinking (cause I DO that sometimes) that the money could have really helped out A LOT of people during these hard times. Even a few that attend her Church that have lost their jobs over the past year. And I also wonder how much of a say so"members" had in picking out this gift from their Church for him.

My Sister a 25 year member was totally surprised and happy for him when the gift was driven into the church and presented to her Favorite Preacher.

How to decide Who to Marry.......

2012-01-06T14:47:00.000-08:00

From the mouths of babes.

There are some real gems here!

>
> 1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
>
>
>
> -You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
> sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
> chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

> -No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
> marry... God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who
> you're stuck with.
>
> -- Kristen, age 10
>
>> 2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
>
>
>
> Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
>> -- Camille, age 10
>
>
>
> 3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF 2 PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
>> You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the
> same kids.
>> --Derrick, age 8
>
>> 4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
>
>
>
> Both don't want any more kids.
>> -- Lori, age 8
>
>
>
>
>
> 5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?>
>
>
> -Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
> other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough..
>> -- Lynne tte, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
>
>
>
>
>
> -On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets
> them interested enough to go for a second date.
>> -- Martin, age 10

>
>
>
> 6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
>> -When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7

(I like Pam)>
> -The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with

> that. - - Curt, age 7
>( I told my Son 25)
>
>
> -The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them
> and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - - Howard, age 8
>
> 7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
>> It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to
> clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
>
>
>
> 8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
>
> There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
>> -- Kelvin, age 8
>
>
>
> And the #1 Favorite is ........
>>
>
> 9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
>
>
>
> Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck

> . -- Ricky , age 10

Smart Kid :-)

>
>

Definitions you MAY or MAY NOT know.

2012-01-03T04:46:00.000-08:00

My Thoughts on the New Year..

2011-12-31T09:12:00.000-08:00

2011 has not been a Good year in my life.

This year as most of you know I lost my Mom, I have one sister struggling with bladder cancer& depression, Another Sister had a mild heart attack and little Jax's had a relapse with his cancer.I've had a friend that I thought was looking out for my best interest even warned me to" be careful" and yet they were the one that betrayed me. Don't know why they felt it necessary and never will!

OK all those Negatives being said for 2011

Let's focus on the Positive.
I spent the last 6 months of my Mother's life by her side day and night. We laughed & We Cried together and those are really some precious memories that I want to hang on too.

The Sister that has the bladder cancer has some testing coming up with a new Dr. and I've met and talked to him within the last couple of weeks and he's giving us some positive feedback .

The Sister that had a heart attack is doing quite well and she seems to be taking better care of herself since then but I will keep checking on her to make sure she does :)

My little friend Jax is one of the sweetest kids you would ever want to meet and I have a Good Feeling that this time God's going to knock this Cancer out of him Once and For All.

As Far as the Friend goes ~ Well I think "Friend Goes" sums it up nicely.
And I so much believe in Karma (You get back from this world What you Put out)

All this being said.

I want to Wish EVERYONE of my Friends a HAPPY and BLESSED New Year.
Let's make 2012 a Good One to Remember

And get that man outta the white house!

Wanna bet?

2011-12-29T07:37:00.000-08:00

This is my lottery ticket. LOOK I won $15.00.

My little Sis won a thousand dollars on this same lottery game scratch off yesterday. She was so excited that she called me first.

There's a little bit of a funny story that goes along with her lotto win.

She scratched her thousand dollar win in her church parking lot . I'm betting she didn't tell the congregation that she won. :)

This brought back some fond memories of my Mom. She always said it was a SIN to gamble and that we shouldn't do it. But yet when she and I went out and I bought lottery scratch offs, she would be scratching MINE off going down the road and would say "If I win something big we will split it" I would always be wishing that she would scratch off something BIG on just one just so I could hear the excitement in her voice . She never did hit a big lottery win, but in typing this post I just realized although I didn't hit the big one here, I did in my heart because it brought back some precious memories of my Mom that put a :) on my face.

I really miss her!

In life I've learned it's always a gamble! It just depends on how much you are willing to risk.

Update~Here's a Copy of her ticket

She will be taking me out to dinner.

Someone is enjoying his presents.

2011-12-26T17:41:00.000-08:00

I'm hoping everyone had a nice Christmas

My Son (Travis) is enjoying his first archery set.

Yes it did leave a blister cause he didn't wear his glove that came with the set.

I tried to tell him.

I got a new toy too..It does require batteries

Yep its a new scanner~What else could it have been?

L(o^o)k for some old pictures soon. When I figure out how to work this thing.

Note it does say 3 EASY steps.

My Favourite Time of Year - The Florin Street Band (New Christmas Song 2...

2011-12-24T05:32:00.000-08:00

Fell in love with this Video last year and I still love it!

MERRY~CHRISTMAS

May all your Christmas dreams come true.
Love,
Paula

Jax's Update~Needing more Prayers for today

2011-12-21T08:22:00.000-08:00

Received this email from my friend this morning.
"Need everyone praying for jax. His platelet count has dropped from 144 on Friday to 36 today. This could be due to the chemo. Getting platelets now. Bone marrow at 1pm. Please pray that he is still in remission. Love Renee"

Jax is at the Duke Hospital for the next couple of Days for testing to see if he's healthy enough for a bone marrow transplant.

This picture was taken yesterday.12-20-2011

Guys I love you for praying for this little fellow~It really means a lot to me.

So Dang Cute~ I have to Share it!

2011-12-18T09:15:00.000-08:00

Use this link to see it http://gma.yahoo.com/video/parenting-26594265/baby-plays-with-puppy-cutest-youtube-video-ever-27619223.html

Hope Everyone is having a Great Weekend ;)

Christmas NEWS.....

2011-12-15T20:17:00.000-08:00

There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington this year! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States' Capitol this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capitol. A search for a Virgin continues. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Heard it from a friend Who....

2011-12-13T15:21:00.000-08:00

Heard it from a friend who jimsuldog.blogspot.com/

Buck @Exile in Portales

Great Song and I'm New at this linking thing....So forgive me if it's wrong.

But I think the song is Great!

Yep I'm doing IT again

2011-12-12T21:05:00.001-08:00

Posting about my Son :-)

He's the cute kid playing the Viola.

My Son's Robotic Competition

2011-12-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

This is Such a Great Group of Kids!

We Spent the biggest part of our day yesterday at this competition and these kids didn't complain Once.

The Competition lasted from 7am until 5pm ( OK I did complain some but not to these guys :)

All their hard work did pay off in the End.

Count those Trophies :-)

I do have some video of the Competition (that would Not download for me this morning)

I will try to add it again Later.

Finally got a Piece of Video to Download (Hope this Works)

A heart warming story of a little girl and her goldfish.

2011-12-10T08:55:00.000-08:00

NOT just another cute dog video

2011-12-08T04:46:00.000-08:00

Remembering what today is

2011-12-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

http://video.insider.foxnews.com/v/1314559042001/

Most may have already seen this link.

I always keep our Military in my Prayers~ Hope Everyone Else does too!

The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger (original narration by Randall)

2011-12-02T05:04:00.000-08:00

WARNING A FEW BAD WORDS USED IN THIS VIDEO :-)

My Niece sent me this video this morning.....After I cleaned up my coffee off the keyboard...I was thinking Some of you would like this :o)

Some Tattoo's really Stink!

2011-11-30T12:08:00.000-08:00

Tattoo artist Ryan Fitzgerald from Dayton, OH was hit with a $100,000 lawsuit last week by his ex-girlfriend Rossie Brovent. She claims that her boyfriend was supposed to tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back but instead tattooed an image of a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.

Apparently, Ryan found out that Rossie had cheated with a long-time friend of his, but instead of confronting her about it he acted like everything was normal and hatched a plan for revenge. Originally, Rossie tried to have Ryan charged with assault, but the ingenious tattoo artist had covered his bases by plying Rossie with wine and tequila shots and getting her to sign a consent form that stated the design was “at the artist’s discretion.”

No word from Rossie on whether the illicit night of passion with Ryan’s friend was worth it. Moral of the story? Never cheat on a tattoo artist.

New Law Provides More Leeway For Self-Defense Action - W-S News Story - WXII The Triad

2011-11-29T18:14:00.000-08:00

New Law Provides More Leeway For Self-Defense Action - Winston-Salem News Story - WXII The Triad

I think I would have done this anyway...In my opinion if someone breaks your door down~Their intent is to harm you.

SPECIAL NEWS ALERT......

2011-11-28T04:36:00.000-08:00

If you think you know this man RUN to your phone and turn him in.

I promise your identity will be kept a secret.

Jaxson is ready to start hunting.

2011-11-25T14:58:00.000-08:00

First thing this morning he found his teeth.

Now we all know hunters need fresh breath.

Oh No Mom~ I forgot my gun! Let's go get it :-)

He's still a little warrior. If ALL goes well he will be on the list to get his bone marrow transplant after Christmas.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T08:37:00.001-08:00

∩ │◥███◣ ╱◥███◣
╱◥◣ ◥████◣▓∩▓│∩ ║
│╱◥█◣║∩∩∩ ║◥█▓ ▓█◣
││∩│ ▓ ║∩田│║▓ ▓ ▓∩ ║
From my house to your house. Happy Thanksgiving ♥ ♥

Update: 15-year-old Girl is 5th Fatality in Pleasant Garden Shootings

2011-11-23T12:17:00.000-08:00

Update: 15-year-old Girl is 5th Fatality in Pleasant Garden Shootings

These murders took place in my "neck of the woods"

This was such a Sad thing to happen..My heart breaks for the family.

The 10,000 check to the lover's wife really just doesn't add up to me.
Plus another thing that puzzles me is the boyfriend received non threatening wounds.

I feel there's a lot more to this story.

Baptized yet?

2011-11-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back To the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."

I'll Drink to That!

2011-11-15T15:42:00.000-08:00

Only because I HAVE too.

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis .

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven.

I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation.

In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening , I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, be ca use MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result'.

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I ca n tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts; the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.

At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.

I was seriously nervous at this point.
Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me..

'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time; the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, be ca use I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea! Really! I slept through it! One moment, ABBA was yelling, 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.
Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent.. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

.............................................................................................................................
ABOUT THE WRITER
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.
....................................................
MORAL OF THIS STORY HAVE YOUR COLON CHECKED. IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE.
NOPE I'M NOT 50 YET BUT COLON CANCER RUNS IN MY FAMILY.

Sending out a BIG Thank~ You

2011-11-10T21:12:00.000-08:00

Hope Everyone has a Nice Veterans Day!

Today's Eye Exam~

2011-11-09T07:27:00.000-08:00

Did you pass :-)

Giving up Smoking~It Aint Easy

2011-11-07T06:33:00.000-08:00

16-foot Python Swallows Entire Adult Deer - Animal News: Animal Planet

2011-11-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

I know some hunters that are going to be pist over this

16-foot Python Swallows Entire Adult Deer - Animal News: Animal Planet

I would be RICH

2011-11-02T05:25:00.000-07:00

If I sold these

LOVE POEM

2011-11-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

NO CRYING PLEASE :-)

Sometimes you just have that feeling..

2011-10-31T09:58:00.000-07:00

Halloween Light Show 2011 - Party Rock Anthem

2011-10-30T21:32:00.000-07:00

Have a Happy Halloween

We went to a Terror Trail tonight~Sorry No taking pictures allowed on the trail.

A Positive thing is the Place we went to ALL Proceeds go to local Charities.

Little Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs (HQ)

2011-10-29T20:38:00.000-07:00

Great Song for a trick or treat weekend.

After reading This~ I know now that I was Drugged as a Child

2011-10-28T16:50:00.000-07:00

I wish all the kids of today would have been so LUCKY as to have my problem too

Burglars Find Man's Child Porn Stash, Call Police

2011-10-27T06:04:00.000-07:00

Burglars Find Man's Child Porn Stash, Call Police

Hope the link works~
It's hard to believe that this happened~ I'm guessing in this case two wrongs did equal up to One Right.

Smile for the day--Amazing Facts

2011-10-25T04:09:00.000-07:00

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days

you would have produced enough sound

energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and

9 months, enough gas is produced to create

the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when

it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(O.M.G.!!!)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head

before it starves to death.(Creepy)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150

calories an hour.

(Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate

while its head is attached to its body.

The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(Honey, I'm home . What the...?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length.

It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm.......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine

years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only

species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

Hope this Works~ Check it Out

2011-10-22T07:06:00.000-07:00

Once you type in the year it will start counting back - then it will fade to black and the text will appear on that black screen. Lots of interesting information is given. Just click on "year of your birth" below........

The screen is going to fade to black; have your glasses on, and follow the instructions below.

You'll be pleasantly surprised with this one... Type the year only!! Then click the question (?) mark!

Sit back and enjoy!!
Year of your birth

I agree 100%

2011-10-20T05:21:00.000-07:00

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
~ Margaret Mead

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.
I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2011

1. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

2. Congress (past , present &future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.
3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective1/1/12. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message. Maybe it is time.

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!!
If you agree with the above, pass it on.

As Promised a few pics from the " Orgy Chicken Stew"

2011-10-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying we all had a Good Ole Time!

It was a total of 37 People~ I sorta stopped taking Pics. by the time they ALL arrived :)

A couple of my cousins came from outta town~So Great to see those Guys

Nope this AINT me ~ I'm the one taking pictures

Young Love

Wait a Minute~ there is a piece of me in this one

Best Deal I've Seen Today

2011-10-15T10:21:00.000-07:00

I've been a Busy Bee today getting ready for a hugh Chicken Stew I'm hosting tonight. But I did see one good deal today with all the running around I've been doing....See it below

BUNGEE JUMPING~ $25.00 PER PERSON~DEMOCRATS JUMP FREE~ NO STRINGS ATTACHED

If folks will let me I will have some pictures from this evening. I've learned after a few drinks they won't care .
Everyone is invited so Ya'll Come :-)

Government's Protection Program

2011-10-14T05:05:00.000-07:00

Allergies

2011-10-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

..Spent the whole day at the Allergist office.

There's not much he wasn't allergic to!.

He's allergic to Grass(all kinds) A plus is hopefully he won't smoke weed :)

Oak trees,Pecan and Birch trees are on the list as well as Dogs and Cats (We have

2 dogs and 2 cats) He refuses to let the animals go, as do I. We will work that out.

He asked if I could not tell the kids at school that he will be getting a series of allergy shots because they will think he's a dork.

Now I was so shocked that they still used the word "DORK"

But Hey on the Plus Side We found out that he's not allergic to dust and mold...Ye haw I can still dust the same as always( Don't Ask :).

Twins?

2011-10-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

Wonder when he will see the resemblance?

Wonder when this reporter will notice the resemblance :)

Choices

2011-10-08T20:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life we have to burn that bridge for ourselves but there's always the one that lights the match

to start the fire, whether on purpose or by accident. .

Either way once the bridge burns there's no going back!

Who will Drink First?

2011-10-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

In my Opinion the Dog did :)

Jax's First Gun

2011-10-02T19:33:00.000-07:00

I think he's going to be a Great Hunter and his target is going to be to kill this Cancer that

wants to take up house in his little body.

Jax's is swollen here from steroids.

And the Chemo is starting to make his hair fall out again.

But he's still a CUTIE :-)

Yay~ It's Saturday :-)

2011-10-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

Memory Lane

2011-09-29T17:14:00.000-07:00

A COUPLE OF JOKES FOR YA

2011-09-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and the big muscles, but I don't get why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents

Ray & Bubba (West Virginia Mechanical Engineers)
> were standing at the base of a flagpole looking up.
> A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
>
> 'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba,
> 'but we don't have a ladder.'
>
> The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts
> and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her
> pocket, took a measurement, announced, 'eighteen feet, six inches,'
> and walked away.
>
>
> Ray shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman!
> We ask for the height and she gives us the length!'
>
> Bubba and Ray are currently working for the government under
> the Obama administration.
>

Knife Thingy

2011-09-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

Since I've seen a few knives on some blogs today.

This is what I carry

CLICK to enlarge

:-)

ALL GIRL BIKER BAR

2011-09-14T05:43:00.000-07:00

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

~PLEASE Keep the Prayers Going for Jaxson! UPDATES

2011-09-08T18:26:00.000-07:00

This one say's it all " Let's Get the Heck Outta Here"

They found out today that Jaxson will have to have a bone marrow transplant in the near future. This little fellow was a Warrior during his first Ordeal with Cancer that struck him at the age of 3 months. Now he's 18 Months and having to do this battle again...Some things in this world I will never understand.

Check Out his shirt

First Day of getting Pick Line for Round 2

Damian McGinty - "A Place in the Choir"

2011-09-05T14:12:00.000-07:00

Loved this Video~ Hope Everyone is having a Nice Labor Day

5 Rules to Remember in Life

2011-09-01T12:56:00.000-07:00

Money can't buy you happiness ,but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle

2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastards name.

3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they are in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive Only because it's illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve problems but neither does milk! So drink up.

What Every Man Should Know

2011-08-29T05:39:00.000-07:00

Finally Came Up With My Plan

2011-08-26T18:11:00.000-07:00

NEEDING PLENTY OF PRAYERS

2011-08-23T21:13:00.001-07:00

Jax at 3 Months-------------->

This is his most recent picture.

FOR THIS LITTLE GUY~ This is Jaxson, he's one of my friends Grandbaby. They are testing him today for bone cancer. He's was born January 12, 2010.

This little fellow isn't 2 years old yet and has been thru so much in his short life time. In March of 2010 he was diagnoised with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML)He had to stay in the hospital for 6 months to be treated with chemo during that time. Jaxson just started walking over this Summer and he's been doing great. Until a new knot appeared a couple of weeks ago...Now He's in need of more PRAYERS - I believe in God and the Power of Prayer and hope my readers do too.

Elvis MegaMix HQ (RIP)

2011-08-16T08:53:00.000-07:00

Today Marks Elvis's 34th Anniversary of his Death. If I wasn't just 29 now (COUGH) Just a little choked up.... I would have to say that I had the BIGGEST Crush on him when I was Young..Something about those blue eyes and dark hair would have just drove me wild.

BTW~HAS ANYONE SEEN HIM LATELY?

A Little Sweetness today!

2011-08-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

Somebody Please make some more cookies.

Has Anyone Seen This Dog???

2011-08-10T16:47:00.000-07:00

If you find him, Please return him to Me.

I found a doughnut on the table in the screened in porch today. (With ants all over it)
I asked my Son "why was there a doughnut on the table" He said "Cause at his desk there were some ants bothering him and he put the doughnut out there to attract the ants back outside, He also said it was working too". :-)~ Kids Gotta love em.

Do you think he's ready?

2011-08-09T18:33:00.001-07:00

I don't know to me he looks like he's paying more attention to the TV.

He's wanting to take lessons at the Range, but I'm making him wait just a few more months until he's 13

Two New Friends from KY

2011-08-08T13:41:00.000-07:00

Now it's time to Wake~Up and come HOME

I Sure Miss You: Crabb Family

2011-08-05T21:25:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY AND THIS SONG IS FOR HER

Looks like My Son made a New Friend in KY

2011-08-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

They are having a Great Time!

I ALMOST Saved Them!

2011-08-04T17:03:00.000-07:00

Near the border this morning, I saw a Muslim fall into the Rio Grande River. He struggled to stay afloat due to the guns/bombs he carried. A Mexican also struggled to stay afloat due to the drugs in his backpack. If they didn't get help, they'd drown. As a good American I informed the sheriff's office & Homeland Security. It is now 4 PM, both drowned & neither authority responded.

I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps.

KY or NC?

2011-08-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

My son wants to go see his grandparents on his Dad's side in KY (both of my parents are gone now) before he starts back to school in a couple of weeks. It has been almost 2 years since he last seen them. His Dad has offered to take him but I'm so Over Protective of that kid ( I know SHAME on me) Hope he doesn't grow up to be a Wuss :-)

I'm STRESSING over the upcoming weekend for 2 BIG reasons
.
1. My baby sister has been battling bladder cancer for the last 4 years (In remission as of last check), Now she has to go Friday for biopsies in both breast. ( Her mammogram didn't look good ) Please ever who reads this keep her in your prayers. I really don't think she will get the results back on Friday. I think it will take a few days for the readings.

2. My Mom's birthday is this Saturday August 6th, and my sisters (that I'm still close to) are wanting me HERE! She's only been gone a couple of months and there hasn't been one day that has went by that I don't miss her.
My baby sister is wanting me here the most. Since Mom passed in April, she has become so dependant on me. Sometimes I really wish she wouldn't (I don't feel as tough as I use to be) And I do wish I could solve all her problems, but I can't.

Ken Block & Ford Fiesta~ HAVE YOU DRIVEN A FORD LATELY?

2011-08-02T18:40:00.000-07:00

~FEELS LIKE I JUST DID ~

April Wine - Just Between YOU And ME (Stereo)

2011-08-01T16:40:00.000-07:00

~Such a Great Song~Heard it today, for the first time in a loooong time~

Why do Men not listen? :-)

2011-07-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

IN a Hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.

A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch

Each button was identified by letters:
WW , WA , PP20 and a red one labelled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this
unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. "The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button."

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.."
MEN NEVER LISTEN

I bet that hurt!

Why we need a Tetanus shot...

2011-07-26T10:09:00.000-07:00

An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the
couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?"

He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."

She says, "Why, are you sick?"

He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra
stuff."

Immediately the wife starts to get out of her rocker and
begins to put on her coat.

He says, "Where the heck are you going"?

She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."

He says, "Why, are you sick?"

She says, "No, but If you're going to start using that rusty
old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot."

OH NO!~ Vacation is Over

2011-07-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

I'm back (Not that I really wanna be) I LOVE the Beach!! and it's too HOT here at home.
And when I Hit the Big Lottery, I'm getting me my own Private Beach House..Let us pray now :-)

My Son LIVED in the Ocean.

My view from the Back Door in the Evening.

My view from the Balcony in the Morning

BTW~ ODIE I DIDN'T FORGET A VIEW FOR YOU

SCROLL DOWN

Just a little further

Now where's yours? (Those damn rocks hurt :-)~

Which reminded me of this video!

For a friend of mine.

Hope EVERYONE has a Great Sunday and a Great Week.

Where did Piss Poor come from?

2011-07-15T16:50:00.000-07:00

It's VACATION TIME FOR ME~BEACH AWAITS~HOPE EVERONE HAS A GREAT WEEK AND ENJOY THESE INTERESTING FACTS :-)
Interesting History
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families
used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken &
Sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive
you were "Piss Poor"
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't
even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to
piss in" & were the lowest of the low
The next time you are washing your hands and complain
because the water temperature isn't just how you like it,
think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts aboutthe 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their
yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by
June.. However, since they were starting to smell . ..... .
Brides carried a bouquet of fl owers to hide the body odor.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting
Married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man
of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then
all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the
children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so
dirty you could actually lose someone in it.. Hence the
saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no
wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get
warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs)
lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and
sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof...
Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the
house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs
and other droppings could mess up yo ur nice clean bed. Hence,

a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top
afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into
existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other
than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had
slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet,
so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their
footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until,

when you opened the door, it would all start slipping
outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big
kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit
the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly
vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the
stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold
overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew
had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence
the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas
porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could
obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When
visitors came over, the y would hang up their bacon to show
off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home
the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests
and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high
acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food,
causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with
tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were
considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt
bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests
got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination
would Sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and
prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen
table for a couple of days and the family would gather
around and eat and dr ink and wait and see if they would wake
up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running
out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins
and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the
grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins
were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they
realized they had been burying people alive... So they would
tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the
coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night
(the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone
could be saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth....Now, whoever said History was boring!!!

WILL POST PICS. OF ME IN MY BIKINI WHEN I GET BACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SCROLL DOWN

SIKE :-)DON'T WONT TO SKEER NOBODY!

THINGS I LEARNED LIVING IN THE SOUTH....

2011-07-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

Jawl-P? means, Did you all go to the bathroom?

People actually grow,eat and like okra.

Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do that.

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

Ya'll is singular. All ya'll is plural.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.

You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You know what a hissy fit is.

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

This says it all!

2011-07-09T19:49:00.000-07:00

I felt like there was no justice for Caylee. But I do know one day there will be!!

A New Gun!

2011-07-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

Ruger is coming out with a new and intimidating pistol in honor of Senators and Congressmen.

It will be named the “Politician”.

It doesn't work and you can't fire it.

✿Katy Perry✿ ♪'Baby You're A Firework'♪☀Set to☀Eiffel Tower Fireworks☀☀L...

2011-07-04T18:38:00.000-07:00

I think this fits!

THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC

2011-07-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed this Video and thought others would too.

2011 July 4th 2

2011-07-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

2 Great Songs~ Hope everyone has a Great Weekend

Another Good Yard Sign

2011-06-29T21:02:00.000-07:00

Chihuahua dancing Flamenco. Chihuahua bailando flamenco

2011-06-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

This little guy dances better than some of my men friends~Hope Everyone has a Great Weekend

Redneck Logic...

2011-06-23T21:25:00.000-07:00

This is straight forward country thinking!!

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:

1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
      You may be a Muslim

2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

      You may be a Muslim

3. If you have more wives than teeth.
      You may be a Muslim

4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
      You may be a Muslim

5. If you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
      You may be a Muslim

6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
      You may be a Muslim

7. If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
      You may be a Muslim

8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside

bombs.
      You may be a Muslim

9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
      You may be a Muslim

10. If your cousin is president of the United States.
      You may be a Muslim

Could this be love?

2011-06-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 12 years old,but they know
they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce
goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says,
"Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you
for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies,
"Well Bruce, you are only 12. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it,
Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and
we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks
a month, so that should do us just fine."

Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.
"Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says,
"Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable....

Men really Shouldn't

2011-06-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

My Dad

2011-06-18T20:03:00.000-07:00

¸¸.•*"Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ"*•.¸¸¸¸.•*"Ƹ̵̡Ӝ

̵̨̄Ʒ"*•.¸¸
If flowers grow in heaven Lord, then pick a bunch for me ▬▬▬ place them in my Dad's arms and tell him they're from me. Tell him that I love and miss him, and when he turns to smile, place a kiss upon his cheek and hold him for a while. ♥

High Urinals

2011-06-17T09:27:00.000-07:00

A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs ) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.'
'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'

WATCH OUT FOR THOSE SENIOR WOMEN

2011-06-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

On the way to a monthly meeting, an elderly lady was stopped by a highway patrolman. He asked for her drivers license and insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to the patrolman.
In with the cards he was surprised to see she had a conceal carry permit. He looked at her and asked if she had a weapon in her possession at this time. She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box. Something, body language or the way she said it, made him want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9 mm Glock in her center console. Now he had to ask one more time if that was all, and she responded once again she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. The officer then asked her what was she so afraid of? She looked him right in the eye and said, "Not a damn thing!"

Any Men in Black Fans?

2011-06-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

One of my friends( from way back) took his vacation this year in New York and he took some Great Pictures of the filming of the new movie Men in Black 3...Here is some of his pictures.

Will Smith with wardrobe

Just "WOW"

Would love to drive one of these babies!

My friend said Will was such a "Cool Guy" I always thought he would be.

BTW He met this guy below too

Jim Belushi (A Fav. of mine :)

WRONG BITCH

2011-06-13T03:23:00.000-07:00

WRONG BITCH

The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed French woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone defend me! Put this American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.

REO Speedwagon - Can't fight this feeling.

2011-06-11T22:03:00.000-07:00

A Favorite back in the day

New Yard Sign

2011-06-10T15:57:00.000-07:00

ARABS

2011-06-08T05:12:00.000-07:00

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.

Lets have a look at the evidence:
No Christmas-
No television-
No nude women-
No football-
No pork chops-
No hotdogs-
No burgers-
No beer-
No bacon-
Rags for clothes-
Towels for hats-
Constant wailing from some idiot in a tower-
More than one wife-
More than one mother in law-
You can't shave-
Your wife can't shave-
You can't wash off the smell of donkey-
You wipe your ass with your hand-
You cook over burning camel shit-
Your wife is picked by someone else-
Your wife smells worse than your donkey
Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better"
No shit Sherlock!..... ....It's not like it could get much worse!