Friday, July 29, 2011

Why do Men not listen? :-)

 IN a Hospital, a gentleman had made several  attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.

A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of  the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch

Each button was identified by letters:
WW ,  WA , PP20 and a red one labelled ATR.  

Who would know if he touched them? 

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this. 

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this
unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. 
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. "The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button."

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.."
I bet that hurt!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Why we need a Tetanus shot...

 An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the
couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?"
        He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."
        She says, "Why, are you sick?"
        He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra
        Immediately the wife starts to get out of her rocker and
begins to put on her coat.
        He says, "Where the heck are you going"?
        She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
        He says, "Why, are you sick?"
        She says, "No, but If you're going to start using that rusty
old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot."

Sunday, July 24, 2011

OH NO!~ Vacation is Over

I'm back (Not that I really wanna be) I LOVE the Beach!! and it's too HOT here at home.
And when I Hit the Big Lottery, I'm getting me my own Private Beach House..Let us pray now :-)

My Son LIVED in the Ocean.

                                               My view from the Back Door in the Evening.

My view from the Balcony in the Morning


Just a little further

Now where's yours? (Those damn rocks hurt :-)~

Which reminded me of this video!

For a  friend of mine.

Hope EVERYONE has a Great Sunday and a Great Week.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Where did Piss Poor come from?

Interesting History
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families
used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken &
Sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive
you were "Piss Poor"
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't
even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to
piss in" & were the lowest of the low
The next time you are washing your hands and complain
because the water temperature isn't just how you like it,
think about how things used to be.

 Here are some facts aboutthe 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their
yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by
June.. However, since they were starting to smell . ..... .
Brides carried a bouquet of fl owers to hide the body odor.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man
of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then
all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the
children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so
dirty you could actually lose someone in it.. Hence the
saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no
wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get
warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs)
lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and
sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof...
Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the
house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs
and other droppings could mess up yo ur nice clean bed. Hence,

a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top
afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other
than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had
slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet,
so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their
footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until,
when you opened the door, it would all start slipping
outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big
kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit
the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly
vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the
stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold
overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew
had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence
the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas
porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could
obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When
visitors came over, the y would hang up their bacon to show
off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home
the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests
and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high
acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food,
causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with
tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were
considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt
bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests
got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination
would Sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and
prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen
table for a couple of days and the family would gather
around and eat and dr ink and wait and see if they would wake
up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running
out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins
and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the
grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins
were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they
realized they had been burying people alive... So they would
tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the
coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night
(the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone
could be saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth....Now, whoever said History was boring!!!



                                                              SIKE :-)DON'T WONT TO SKEER NOBODY!

Monday, July 11, 2011


A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
Jawl-P? means, Did you all go to the bathroom?
People actually grow,eat and like okra.
Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do that.
There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
Ya'll is singular. All ya'll is plural.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.
You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You know what a hissy fit is.
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no dang Driver's Ed.  If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

This says it all!

 I felt like there was no justice for Caylee. But I do know one day there will be!!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

A New Gun!

Ruger is coming out with a new and intimidating pistol in honor of Senators and Congressmen.
It will be named the “Politician”.
It doesn't work and you can't fire it.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Friday, July 1, 2011