Wednesday, March 28, 2012

It's that time of year AGAIN

At  the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books  of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books, he turned  to the CFO of the hospital and said,"I notice you buy a lot of bandages.  What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be  of any use?"
"Good question ," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send  them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a  free roll." "Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.?"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster." "I see," replied the   auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO.
"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the remains from the  circumcision surgeries?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO.  "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS  office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick."

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Stop insulting our Sailors


Hope everyone has a Great Weekend.....I'll be at the Hospital with my Sister.
Surgery to remove her kidney in the wee hours tomorrow.
Prayers for her and Jax are always appreciated.
Thanks Guys!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Male Sensitivity

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary help and assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier." Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

She looked at the men in the room, "Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both."

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. After a few moments, a man named Chuck at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes," said the Instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Friday, March 2, 2012

In the mood for Green Eggs and Ham.


Be who you ARE and say what you feel because those who mind DON'T matter and
those who Matter don't MIND.
Dr. Seuss

"I'm glad we had the times just to laugh together and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone."
--Dr. Seuss