Believe it or not...These are Memphis, TN 's REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 what is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. 
Dispatcher: Do you have an address? 
Caller:  No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 what is your emergency?
Caller:  Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich. 
Dispatcher: Excuse me? 
Caller:  I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken? 
Caller:  No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 what is the nature of your emergency? 
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. 
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one 
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 what’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child? 
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is.......... 
 Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller:  Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.  Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. 
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police