Politically Incorrect..WARNING----some of these are way bad

I had just come out of the store with two porterhouse steaks, a jumbo sausage, a bag of chips, and a 6-pack of beer. A homeless man sat there and said, "I haven't eaten for two days."  I told him, "I wish I had your will power."

Top tip: If you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot, she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex. Wish me luck.....I appear in court next Monday.



I was behind a rather large woman at the checkout. She had on a pair of jeans that said, 'Guess.'
I said, "I don't know.........maybe 350 pounds."

I have a new pickup line that works every time! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and I always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes, "Excuse me, Love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?"

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently African Americans and Hispanics were not the correct answers.