If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days
you would have produced enough sound
energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and
9 months, enough gas is produced to create
the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when
it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(O.M.G.!!!)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(O.M.G.!!!)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head
before it starves to death.(Creepy)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150
calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate
(Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate
while its head is attached to its body.
The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home . What the...?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length.
(Honey, I'm home . What the...?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length.
It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm.......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm.......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine
years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only
species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)
So with all those taste buds the catfish loves to eat stinky bait. It must lack the horrible tasting taste bud.
ReplyDeleteAtomic bomb from me? No
ReplyDeleteReally big conventional bomb? Yes
I originally wanted to come back as a goat in my next life. I'm in the process of reconsidering thangs now, but the mantis is OUT.
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ReplyDeleteI still can't get over the pig either.
LOL... I like your parenthesis comments! :)
ReplyDeleteHere's a great Cat vid for you :)
ReplyDeletehttp://theferalirishman.blogspot.com/2011/10/for-cat-lovers-and-ones-that-like-cat.html
very entertaining
ReplyDeleteYou're really hung up on that pig ... the lucky SOBs.
ReplyDelete