Loner in the Night

Saturday, January 15, 2011

How to Wash the Cat

How to Wash the Cat - by The Dog

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet (this step is optional).

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted .

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. (Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, he is actually enjoying this.)

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and "rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Team Ra-Ras Kicks Breast Cancer - Susan G. Komen for the Cure Philadelph...

REALLY GOOD CAUSE

Monday, January 10, 2011

Maybe this job really isn't for me

My 1 day of employment

So, after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

I said pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
.

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
"Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?"

So I replied,
"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Mom's therapy has started (2 days now)

Day 1, Therapist is a nice lady but tough (Exactly what she needs) Over the last 6 months mom has become totally dependent on us girls not wanting, nor trying to do anything for herself. Instead she knows she just has to yell (Sometime loud) in case one of us didn't hear her the first time she yelled (to change the TV channel) I've already decided! I'm not getting her a bell to ring.

Day 2, Mom's complaining to me that she just can't take the therapy and wants to cancel it (Not a chance that will happen) but mom is a little sneaky She tries to go over my head..(As though she could, I'm the tallest girl out of the family) Needless to say day 2 did happen today, and it went well.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

My Mom

My mom is 83 years old (Shhh! Don't tell her I told her age) She's sensitive about that kind of thing...Guess that's where I got it from..

She's been going through some health problems over the past year. Last night she was taken to the hospital and I spent the night there with her (As well as 6 of my sisters) She had fell and hit her head and had to have 3 staples put in. Her blood pressure was high (Which has never been before) and they gave her a blood pressure pill which made her go into irregular heart beats.(Ofcourse they were short staffed at the hospital) So it took awhile to get her heart beat back to normal, After all that they decide well she can go home! We were all shocked that they wouldn't want to keep her for observation..
She was discharged and they wheeled her out to the emergency parking deck to load her into the car....She was in the car no more than a minute or two and couldn't breath (I've never been more scared for her in my life) They rushed her back into the emergency room and her oxygen level was down to 60 . At which time they readmitted her into the hospital for a second time. You would think that this time they would have kept her a day at least! But no! After they got her oxygen level back to normal. They realeased her to go home again (With an oxygen tank to go home with her) Needless to say the hospital got at least 7 complaints today..She is resting today at a sisters house (We will take turns watching after her) The only thing I can say is our Medical System here sucks..(And I know this from my own experiences in the past) Please keep my mom (Thelma) in your prayers..She will follow up with her regular Doctor.